Honesty in Recovery: A Foundational Tool for Staying Sexually Sober

Addiction and lying often go hand in hand. If you’ve struggled with hypersexual disorder, whether it was sex, masturbation, or porn addiction, you probably lied at some point to hide what you were doing. However, in the recovery journey, lying will no longer cut it. If you want to achieve long-term sobriety, honesty in recovery is a critical component of getting you there.

The Fallout of Sex Addiction and Lying

When you have a sexual addiction, you’re engaging in compulsive sexual behavior. That means you’re obsessively fixated on sexual acts, fantasies, or desires, so much that they’re out of control. As a result, you may have dealt with or experienced the following:

• Pursuing risky sexual behavior like anonymous unprotected sex or voyeurism
• Hiring a sex worker
• Stopping hobbies or activities that don’t offer a sexual outlet
• Shirking personal responsibilities at home, work, or in school
• Engaging in chronic masturbation or porn consumption
• Feeling shame, sadness, or depression about your sexual behaviors or lack of control

 

Considering the experiences above, you’re probably untangling yourself from a web of lying and addiction. Maybe you hit rock bottom and realized it was time to get help. Perhaps you got caught by your significant other, leading to a damaged relationship, deep wounds, and betrayal trauma in your partner. Or you could have sunken into financial or legal troubles due to your addiction and lies. Regardless, you made it a priority to seek sex addiction treatment. Now that you’re trying to get sober and turn your life around, embracing honesty in recovery — and not lying — can be a vital tool in your sobriety toolbox. But why?

Why Honesty in Recovery Matters

According to Psychiatric Quarterly, some research suggests that 59% of adults lie at least once, and up to five times, a day. You may have gotten used to lying about your addiction, and even seen the short-term benefits of it. Yet it’s not something to be continued in recovery. Instead, recovery from sex or porn addiction requires positive changes, with honesty being front and center. Here are a few reasons why honesty in recovery is so important:

Honesty in Recovery Restores Relationships

It’s likely that your sexual addiction has broken the trust you’d built with your spouse, partner, family, and friends. Sincerely apologizing for your choices and actions is a positive first step to mending those relationships. Yet being honest with others about your recovery is key to rebuilding that trust and strengthening your relationships. You need to regularly demonstrate that you can be trusted again.

Honesty in Recovery Prevents Relapse

If you think about it, your past dishonesty often enabled your addiction. When you lied, people weren’t aware of your issues, nor could they keep you accountable. Your struggles remained hidden. If you start lying again, it’s all too easy to go back to addictive patterns in recovery. However, embracing honesty in recovery — no matter what — can help prevent sex or porn relapse before it starts.

Honesty in Recovery Helps You Grow

Sobriety from sex or porn addiction isn’t a constant. You always need to be working at it, years after getting treatment. The recovery journey continues on. By being honest, you’re better able to evaluate your progress along the way. That means both you and your support system can take the right steps needed so you can stay the course and improve, no matter what challenges arise. 

How to Embrace Honesty in Recovery From Sex Addiction

While addiction and lying can go hand in hand, so can honesty and recovery. Recovering from sex addiction and maintaining sobriety can get difficult, but honesty can keep you on the straight and narrow through it all. Here are some practical tips for practicing honesty in recovery: 

Be Honest About How You’re Feeling

Now’s not the time to put on a happy face and say that you’re “fine” if you’re not. Struggling with negative feelings, such as shame or guilt, are common on the sex or porn addiction recovery journey. You may even feel frustration in the early stages as you deal with setbacks. As such, it’s best to be honest with yourself about your feelings and not bury them. Suppressing your feelings only creates more problems for yourself. Look for ways to engage your feelings in a healthy way, such as journaling or through dance, music, and art. 

Open Up to Others

You may be apprehensive about sharing your recovery struggles with others, even your spouse. But embracing honesty in recovery with your support network will give you another foundational tool in your sobriety journey: support! Your honesty helps you get the help you need, combats loneliness (which may be a sex or porn trigger), and strengthens your relationships with your loved ones.

Seek Professional Support

Finishing a sex or porn addiction treatment program doesn’t mean professional help has to stop in recovery. At Integrative Life Center in Nashville, TN, our aftercare and alumni programming provide ongoing support for people in recovery like you. Whether it’s through sex or porn addiction support groups, alumni events, accountability, or continued therapy, we can help you maintain your sobriety goals. To learn more, contact us today. 

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