How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship After Porn Addiction

What’s the recipe for a strong relationship? One of its key ingredients is trust. But when a partner or spouse has a porn addiction, the trust you share together can shatter. The other partner can even deal with betrayal trauma in the fallout. If you’re the one who’s struggled with addiction, you could also be reeling after what the addiction has done to your relationship. But along the recovery journey, you can learn how to rebuild trust in a relationship with your spouse or partner.

A Commitment to Sobriety and Reconciliation

So how do you rebuild trust in a relationship? Where do you start? Everything may seem dark and bleak right now due to the pain your porn addiction has caused in both your lives. Consequently, you need to first show your commitment to finding long-term healing from your addiction. This creates space for your partner to seek their own individual, healing too. 

Reliability and accountability are some of the key aspects that build trust in relationships, according to Michigan State University. With your continued focus on sobriety, you’re showing these qualities to your spouse or partner. From there, you can both mutually commit to rebuilding trust together. As you’re working on your sobriety, you also need to regularly work on rebuilding trust on a daily basis. This includes making decisions with the relationship in mind and continuously showing you’re for one another in your actions and words. 

How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship: Healthy Communication

With a mutual commitment to rebuilding trust in a relationship together, you need to establish healthy communication patterns as your next priority. Rebuilding trust, after all, is rooted in communication. That means now is the time to be vulnerable with your spouse about your porn addiction struggles. He or she needs to know what has happened and how it’s impacted you personally. 

Other good topics to discuss include how you’re feeling about each other right now, as well as relationship goals you can work on together in this rebuilding trust process. This allows you both to be on the same page with expectations. If you’re not sure what your present goals should be, consider taking time to meditate and journal your thoughts beforehand to see what comes up. 

Healthy communication also requires honesty. In your life of porn addiction, you may have gotten accustomed to lying. That won’t work now if you want to learn how to rebuild trust in a relationship. Honesty in recovery is necessary, as it allows you to understand what’s really going on and take steps that actually help each other. 

Rebuilding Trust in a Relationship: Your Responsibilities

Each person in the relationship has a part to play in working through trust re-establishment. As the one who’s struggled with porn addiction, your part is substantial. Here are some individual responsibilities you should pursue in order to learn how to rebuild trust in a marriage or dating relationship: 

• Accept responsibility for your past: No matter what happened, you need to recognize your role in the porn addiction you developed. No more lies or shirking of responsibility. Own up to your actions and admit your wrongs. 
• Create a recovery plan: You can’t magically overcome an addiction. You need a real plan. This often requires joining a porn addiction treatment program. Once your plan is in place, share it with your partner and involve them in the process. 
• Validate your partner’s experience: Your adjustment is hard, but so is your spouse’s. Empathize with your partner’s pain and validate the feelings they express. It shows support, which your spouse really needs at this time. 
• Stay the course: Don’t give up on your recovery goals. It’s time to back up your intentions with real change. Continue to show trustworthy behavior by pursuing your recovery day in and day out. 

Rebuilding Trust in a Relationship: The Partner’s Responsibilities

Your partner has his or her own part to play in the rebuilding trust process, too. Some of the steps your partner can take in this season include:

• Prioritizing their healing: As mentioned earlier, your partner may be experiencing betrayal trauma due to your porn addiction. It’s important for your partner to focus on their healing during your recovery as well. 
• Expressing true feelings: If something is troubling your spouse, it’s best that he or she truly shares what’s going on at this time. This clarity helps you both to address the issue and work to reconcile. 
• Focusing on daily progress: Addiction recovery and trauma healing both take time in the relationship. Together, it’s important to recognize progress (no matter how small) and celebrate wins along the way. 

Porn Addiction Recovery in Nashville

You and your partner can learn how to rebuild trust in a relationship that’s been impacted by porn addiction. But the first step on your part is to seek porn addiction recovery so the healing process can begin. At Integrative Life Center in Nashville, TN, our porn addiction treatment program addresses the root causes of your struggles, empowering you to achieve lasting sobriety. If you’re ready to get started, call us now. 

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