Understanding Separation Anxiety in Adults and Addiction

For years, separation anxiety disorder (SAD) has been considered a childhood disorder–clinginess, crying, and fear of being separated from another person (usually a caregiver) that go beyond developmentally appropriate expectations. 

Now, new criteria in the DSM-V have identified separation anxiety in adults as a real condition often requiring mental health treatment. Many times a result of anxiety from childhood trauma, separation anxiety disorder in adults can be comorbid with debilitating addictions, making the road to health and wholeness even more complex.

However, with the proper understanding of how the diagnoses of separation anxiety and addiction intertwine, healing is possible.

What Does Separation Anxiety in Adults Look Like?

While they do not closely resemble the tantrums or clinginess of separation anxiety in children, symptoms of separation anxiety in adults include:

• Reluctance to leave the attachment figure
• Physical symptoms during real or anticipated separation, including stomach upset or headaches
• Recurring nightmares about separation
• Fear of being alone
• Reluctance to sleep away from attachment figure
• Excessive worry about losing the attachment figure
• Excessive distress before and during separation

Some of these symptoms are normal in moderate amounts when an adult is closely attached to another, but the key word tipping them into disordered territory is “excessive,” meaning inhibiting social, occupational, or academic functioning. Fear of losing the attachment figure begins to control the adult’s life, bringing harm to them or those around them.

Sometimes, adults with separation anxiety are written off as controlling or overbearing, but SAD goes beyond personality quirks. It is rooted not in a desire to control another but in an intense fear of losing them.

As for who adults with separation anxiety tend to attach to, MedicalNewsToday indicates that spouses, romantic partners, or children most often become the attachment figures. Understandably, SAD can have devastating effects on these relationships.

Separation Anxiety in Adults and Addiction 

Studies have shown that up to 60 percent of adults with SAD have comorbidity with other mental health disorders. One of those is often addiction, or substance use disorder (SUD).

Why is this the case? Adults overwhelmed with anxiety about being separated from a loved one–even a high functioning anxiety that can be easy to hide from others–are more susceptible to engage in compulsive behaviors for relief. These behaviors end up perpetuating the cycle of fear rather than helping end it, often with devastating consequences.

Some experiencing separation anxiety symptoms in adults turn to drugs or alcohol and soon develop a debilitating addiction. 

These are not the only addictions adults with SAD fall into, however. One study of university students found a positive correlation between separation anxiety in adults and internet addiction.

How Attachment Trauma Complicates Recovery

Separation anxiety and addiction often share a common root: early attachment trauma. If a person experienced inconsistent caregiving, emotional neglect, abandonment, or loss in childhood, they may develop an anxious attachment style that persists into adulthood.

In these cases, the fear of separation is not irrational—it is learned. The brain remembers that separation equals pain, and the body responds with panic, even in safe and secure relationships.

For adults struggling with both SAD and addiction, recovery must address these early wounds. This may include:

• Exploring childhood attachment dynamics
• Identifying maladaptive beliefs like “I’m unlovable without this person”
• Practicing self-regulation skills that replace the role of substances
• Rewriting the body’s sense of safety and connection

Without addressing this deeper emotional layer, addiction treatment alone may not resolve the compulsive need for closeness or the fear of abandonment that drives both SAD and substance use.

Recovering from Separation Anxiety and Addiction

Though separation anxiety in adults is often overlooked, it is real, and must be really addressed for recovery to happen. The question of how to treat separation anxiety in adults has a variety of answers.

High quality anxiety treatment understands that the roots of separation anxiety in adults can be intertwined with past trauma and attachment difficulties, often going back to childhood. Treatment–which may include talk therapies such as cognitive behavior therapy–must address these roots and begin healing them for true recovery to occur.

This kind of work is best done in a trauma informed environment. Trauma informed care is sensitive to a patient’s past and seeks to heal past trauma without re-traumatizing the patient. It focuses on building a therapeutic relationship based in safety, trustworthiness, and collaboration, offering the patient choice in their journey to recovery so they can be empowered to process their trauma on their own terms. 

Processing past trauma is a vital step to understanding adult separation anxiety and developing healthy coping mechanisms that will not lead to addiction but rather stable, whole relationships with loved ones.

A holistic approach to anxiety treatment is also important, incorporating the whole body’s response to trauma, addiction, and separation anxiety. With treatment options ranging from dance and movement therapy to mindfulness and meditation, holistic treatment acknowledges that we are more than just mind–we are mind, body, and spirit, and for lasting recovery, all must be addressed.

The Importance of Community in Healing

For individuals struggling with separation anxiety, developing healthy, secure relationships in a therapeutic setting is often one of the most healing parts of treatment. Group therapy, community meals, shared outdoor activities, and peer support groups allow individuals to build connections outside of their primary attachment figure.

These connections help adults practice:

• Communicating needs clearly and respectfully
• Tolerating brief separations or relational distance
• Building self-esteem outside of codependent dynamics
• Feeling supported and seen without relying on substances
  

Through repeated safe experiences with others, the nervous system begins to learn a new story: separation does not always lead to harm, and connection can be safe and nurturing.

Holistic Care for the Whole Person

A holistic approach to anxiety treatment is also important, incorporating the whole body’s response to trauma, addiction, and separation anxiety. With treatment options ranging from dance and movement therapy to mindfulness and meditation, holistic treatment acknowledges that we are more than just mind—we are mind, body, and spirit, and for lasting recovery, all must be addressed.

At Integrative Life Center in Nashville, TN, clients can also explore unique modalities such as:

• Equine Therapy: building trust and emotional regulation through relationships with horses
• Yoga and Martial Arts: developing physical discipline and grounding
• Nature Immersion: reconnecting with a sense of wonder, awe, and safety
• Nutrition Counseling: supporting gut-brain balance for anxiety and mood
  

These practices support clients in learning how to self-soothe without substances, navigate distressing emotions, and rebuild a sense of inner safety—critical milestones for those healing from separation anxiety and addiction.

Find Healing from Separation Anxiety and Addiction in Nashville, TN 

If you or a loved one are experiencing the devastating symptoms of separation anxiety in adults, there is hope. Consider reaching out to the Integrative Life Center in Nashville, TN. Our holistic approach to healing combines evidence-based therapies–such as Internal Family Systems and EMDR–with holistic experiences including equine therapy, trauma-informed yoga, and martial arts. 

Anxiety recovery, though complex, is possible, and Integrative Life Center will develop an individualized treatment plan to guide you through. Whether you opt for intensive outpatient treatment or for one of our men’s or women’s residency treatment programs, we will help you find the best path forward to freedom and health.

So do not hesitate. Reach out to us today at (615) 891-2226 to begin recovering from separation anxiety and addiction.

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