I Relapsed: Learn Why and What To Do About It

“I relapsed! What am I supposed to do now?”

“My husband relapsed. What do I do to help him get back on track? Or is it too late?”

“I’m sick of this. Why do I keep relapsing again and again?”

“Is all hope lost? Do I have to start over?”

So many questions can race through your mind in the fallout of a relapse. Perhaps your relapse was wholly unexpected. Maybe you’ve seen it coming for weeks now. You could be reeling from a difficult trial in your life. Or you’ve just experienced a relapse at the worst time: just after a sobriety win. 

No matter the source of your relapse, the feelings are often the same: discouragement, anger, confusion, and fear. With that said, now isn’t the time to give up and give in. You can course-correct and resume your recovery goals. But why did you relapse in the first place, and what should you do next? 

The Reality of Relapse, Explained

While you may be thinking, “I relapsed,” it’s important to truly take stock of the situation. Did you actually relapse? A one-time slip up, for example, is not a relapse. Slip-ups, or lapses, often happen during recovery. Perhaps it was taking one pill you found in the medicine cabinet, momentarily watching porn, or pulling into the bar for a couple drinks on the way home. A lapse is an instance of addictive behavior. But after it happens, you adjust and return to your recovery. 

If you continue to use your substance of choice over and over again (or take on a new transfer addiction), then your “I relapsed” thinking is accurate. A relapse happens when you pick back up your addictive behaviors after a period of abstinence. You’ve stopped maintaining your goal of reducing or avoiding substances, shares the Alcohol and Drug Foundation (ADAF), and have since returned to previous levels of use. 

Relapses happen in stages. An emotional relapse occurs first, once you experience addiction triggers that tempt you to use. A mental relapse follows as you begin to imagine yourself relapsing. You may think, “I want to relapse,” and even start making plans to relapse. Then the physical relapse comes soon after.

There are a number of relapse warning signs along the way as you experience each stage. Recognizing the following signs can help you take note of your vulnerability to future relapses:

• Euphoric recall
• Social isolation
• Substance cravings
• Increased depression or anxiety
• Lying
• Decreased self-care
• Questioning your recovery practices
• Skipping out on recovery practices or support group meetings

Why Do I Keep Relapsing? 

If you relapsed, no doubt you’re wondering why. What happened to bring you to this point? For starters, relapse happens to many people in recovery. It’s estimated that 40% to 60% of people with an addiction will experience a relapse, according to The Guardian. Take comfort in knowing that you’re not the only one who’s experienced this.

There are a number of reasons why relapses occur. Some common sources of relapse, according to the ADAF, include: 

• Previous mental or emotional challenges
• Difficult situations or emotions that lead to unhealthy coping 
• Pre-existing physical health challenges (such as chronic pain)
• Temptations to use again
• Guilt and self-blame after a lapse

 

But if you’ve continued to relapse, get back on track, and eventually relapse again, you’re probably wondering why you can’t shake it for good. Like the source of your first relapse, there could be a variety of factors at play, such as:

• A lack of community support from others 
• Untreated co-occurring disorders like bipolar disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Unresolved trauma 
• Constant, everyday stress
• Self-sabotaging behavior
• An unhealthy recovery environment at home
• A poor relapse prevention plan

I Relapsed: Here’s What To Do Next

“I don’t know what to do after a relapse,” may be what you’re thinking right now. You could be feeling depressed and hopeless as the fallout sinks in. Perhaps you think you’ll just keep relapsing if you try to fix things. But relapse doesn’t mean failure. You can reclaim your recovery, but you’ll need to take some important next steps, including:

• Process your relapse: Review the situations and decisions that led to your eventual relapse. As you reflect, no matter how painful, you can apply what you learn to the future.
• Get real support: Now isn’t the time to isolate yourself out of shame or embarrassment. It’s important to find real support from loved ones, your therapist, or support group. Open up about your relapse so you can get help from your community. 
• Adjust your relapse prevention plan: It’s time to either establish or improve upon your relapse prevention plan. Use what you learned from your current relapse to create the boundaries you need to maintain your recovery long-term. 
• Care for yourself: Don’t beat yourself up. Instead, forgive yourself and practice self-compassion. It’ll put you in a better mental state to get back on track. As you do, revisit your self-care routines and ensure you’re following them consistently. 

Pursue Recovery at Integrative Life Center

Did you experience a relapse? Professional addiction recovery support can make all the difference to getting you back to your recovery. At Integrative Life Center in Nashville, Tennessee, we treat underlying issues (such as trauma and co-occurring disorders) that could be contributing to relapse. Our aftercare programming can also equip you to keep relapse at bay in the future. Call us today to jumpstart your recovery again.

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